I am BACK!!
To my readers, did you miss me? I missed you!! I have so many great things to share and I am so glad to be back.
Yall, I think I was having a mini-breakdown. Let me explain, I felt like the walls of the world were closing in on me, and I was slowly suffocating. I started basing my day on the news I read on social media or any news media outlet, especially Newsweek. I stopped doing things I loved and felt a sense of dread. I kept thinking I had to do everything in a single day because I may not wake up from war, or covid, or because of my autoimmune diseases. I feel I was self-sabotaging myself, and I feel I was causing panic within my family.
Not only that, Natlie has been ill and in the past two months had two surgeries. One was on February 9, 2022, for her fibroids, and one was performed yesterday April 5, 2022, for her wisdom teeth being removed. She was really sick, and it made me scared, nervous, and upset. Did you know you can die from having mouth issues? Her wisdom teeth were so bad and infected they were like we need to remove then not now but RIGHT NOW!
From there my conversations started to consist of only a few topics. I started only talking about war, death, disease, and despair. It’s funny now but my youngest child, Mackenzie, asked me could she go outside one more time before we die? All I could think about was the skit from Queens of Comedy, and I didn’t want to be that grandmother. So I decided to make a change.
Guess what I did, I stopped everything. I actually went on ME vacation. I stopped reading the news, I stopped doing all the things that I was doing, and I had to cut my time from social media. If it wasn’t for Making Paradise At Home, I chose to not entertain it. I got so into my ME vacation that I even skipped a few chores. I am not ashamed, I feel fabulous and I don’t feel defeated because I didn’t wash that load of clothes. It is safe to say, I became a REBEL.
Then I decided to do something I hadn’t done in a long time. I went out to eat with the family and enjoyed myself.
Of course, I followed the social distancing rules and protected myself, but I didn’t worry about restrictions, I didn’t worry about a bomb or war, I didn’t think of anything but just having a good time. Something miraculous happened, I actually had an amazing time.
I decided to up the ante and gathered the family and we went to the park. Yall, I took my mask off and took the deepest breath I could. Needless to say, it was packed full of pollen, and yes, I am an allergy sufferer, but I did it, and I feel those sniffles and puffy eyes were well worth the deep breath!! I walked around the park huffing and puffing working out and feeling the burn. I got on swings, and jungle gyms, and before I knew it, Natlie and I had other parents playing on the park equipment as well.
From there I got so into my ME vacation I started a book I had been wanting to read, and currently, I am mad at this Lycan King name Edward, he better be glad he is fictional, he doesn’t know me. You not just gonna manhandle the princess like that. I just made myself mad thinking about it. We need a moment of silence….. and we are back!
On my ME vacation, I learned something, there is nothing wrong with taking time for yourself. There is nothing wrong with just doing nothing. It’s okay to just be. Nothing more nothing less. Most importantly, I am glad I got to do it with my family. I made some pretty amazing memories.
With all that said, I am back and I just wanted to send big hugs to everyone.
Until next time! Keep smiling!!!