My Personal Blog

March Madness, A Battle Of Sorts

Hey yall, I have a lot to get off my chest, and I need my listening boards!

I brought us a charcuterie board. Do you like hummus?

First, how yall been doing? Are yall ready for spring and the warm weather headed our way? Have you been taking your vitamins? If you stay a lot indoors, make sure to take your Vitamin D!

The Good

Madison loves theatre, the arts, acting, drawing, and anything to express herself. She is all for it! Guess what? She got the lead in her school play! Yes, she did. When I get more information, I will tell yall more about it.

Mackenzie is doing so well in school! She is learning fractions and reading longer chapters. I remember those days! She comes home a lot saying she hates school but loves her friends, and then she says she has a headache. Smh… hard growing up!

The Bad

Natlie and I aren’t in a great head space right now. She is suffering from anxiety due to work and home life… and it has also taken a toll on me. I had to get her a doctor’s appointment, and she is on medication. This isn’t our first rodeo, she had depression before, and it’s a process.

She gets nervous that she will bring something home and I may get sick. You know, people suffer from colds and allergies around this time of year. Well, one of my medications suppressed my immune system, so I’m just a walking dust magnet! I told her I would be ok, but as I said, it’s a process.

Her doctor wants her to get counseling as well. We will get the medication in her system first and go from there. Natlie doesn’t want to go to counseling, and I can understand. She doesn’t like to talk about her problems and doesn’t see her doing it with a stranger. But we are going to get her where she needs to be. Even if I have to drag her by her dreads and sit on her lap while she talks… we will get to the promised land.

The Ugly

Life hits hard, and it takes a toll on you. I have come to learn in life it doesn’t matter what you expect; you are going to get what you get. Either you are ready, or you aren’t. No matter how good of a person you are, no matter how nice you are, people will take your kindness for a weakness, and if only you had told them to “FUCK OFF” a long time ago, maybe your life would be different.

Natlie has a family member who is a thorn in our ass. She is hell-bent on destroying the little sanity we have left in our household. But, for the life of me, I don’t understand why she won’t leave us alone.

Since she can’t make Natlie act the way she wants, she constantly does things to cause havoc in our lives. A few years ago, she called the cops ON ME because she said she heard yelling over the phone and thought it was Natlie getting hurt!

She has sent her family members to my home, sitting outside my house. People would show up unannounced to visit. People told Natlie she needed to check in with this person because they were worried about her welfare, and social media got involved. Social media is a hell of a drug, isn’t it?

NATLIE IS 41 YEARS OLD… But wellness checks are real!

We are just at a place where you get tired.

I’m trying to be strong for Natlie, and she doesn’t need that mess when she is already dealing with anxiety from other things. I feel selfish for wanting to be held, I don’t feel good about my issues, but I don’t get to be sad right now. Somebody has to be the leader, and right now, Natlie needs to rest. I’m a female going through life, and I like to be held and cuddled! There is nothing different than yesterday, I have a funky kidney and doctor appointments.

Speaking of doctor appointments, I changed mine to April 10! 

I’m going to get going, but as always, the Biggest Hug and Warmest Smile!





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